"Hi Sarah. It's Joey. I know you're on your way to meet with your supervisor, but could you please turn around and come meet with me and Erin? We have something to talk to you about, and no, it's not bad. Hurry and come."
That is how the phone call went. My heart dropped when Joey called. Joey is my bosses boss. And she wants me to meet with the even bigger boss, Erin. I couldn't imagine what the head director of Head Start wanted to do with me. She knew my name. I think. We had met before and I had many meetings with her. But a personal one? I started to sweat and feel extremely nervous.
I walked into the Erin's big office. She told me to have a seat and she, Joey and I all made pleasantries and chatted for a bit. They seemed in a good mood. So it couldn't be that bad, right? They finally told me they wanted to get to the point. "Finally." I though. I felt like I had been dying of curiosity.
"We want to offer you a job promotion. It's called the Volunteer Coordinator You know what that is Sarah, it's Katie's job. She is going off to get her PHD, and in order to replace her, we evaluated everyone in the company to take her place, and we are hand picking you."
"Huh? What? Promotion? Hand picked? You like me? Wahoo! What does this mean?" That is how is all went down in my head within the first 10 seconds after hearing what Erin had to say to me.
I felt flattered. I felt excited. I felt honored. I couldn't believe that they had noticed me and liked me. A little Family Advocate who never imagined herself progressing in this company.
They let me know that I had some time to think about it and let me then meet another woman, who would be my new supervisor.
That is where things changed. This woman let me know right off the bat she is a micro manager. She came across as slightly bossy and a little condescending, and I had heard some things about her that didn't please me.
I walked away feeling very conflicted. Do I want to work for her? I never would have applied for this job on my own. It didn't interest me very much. You don't get to work with families anymore and you are in charge of hundreds of volunteers and all the event planning. I'm not sure if I am even good at those things. Then I found out the raise was almost nothing, and I would have less flexibility and more working on weekends. Hmm... I had to think about it. And think I did.
Now, if you know me you will know two things: 1.I am my father's daughter. 2. Very rarely has the Lord ever truly answered a prayer of mine with an absolute yes, or no. Let me expand.
My dad is a natural with teaching. He likes business with head honcho people and enjoys working his way up the corporate ladder. He likes progression. I am the same way. I like working. I am not intimidated by CEO's or big board meetings. I want to work my way up and I want to meet those head honcho people. I don't mind being recognized or progression. I have no fear with public speaking and being outgoing. My dad is the same way. I used to walk streets of Philly and see all the women around me in their business suits and admire them. I liked women who were strong and confidant and hard working. I wondered if I could ever do that. But my dad also taught me, that no promotion was worth it if you were going to be unhappy. I was worried about that with this job offer...
Second thing- In most cases, with all the bigger decisions I have made in life, I have never really gotten a direct answer from the Lord of a yes or no. I have always that the blessing/trial to just use my agency and make a decision and WAY after have it be confirmed if it were right or not. I fasted for an answer. I prayed. I discussed it with my boss, my co-workers, my friends and with my husband and family. I got such a different mix of opinions. It almost made it even harder. "Ohh. Tough call." they most all said to me after explanation. Some wanted me to take it badly. Others, knew what I would be getting myself into, and advised me to be careful. At first I felt sick about it, and didn't want to take it. Then I got excited and ready to move on and try something new. I had been wanting a new job anyway. Was this the Lord's answer to a prayer? I just never really new. The back and forth was hard, and I knew the Lord was once again, letting me truly expand my agency.
Then something interesting happened. I was half asleep one night, and Erwin came in and asked me to listen to him briefly and try to open my eyes. He then said "Sweetie, I just wanted to let you know that I got an impression that you should respectfully decline the job offer. I'm not sure why. I wasn't even thinking about it. It just popped into my head." I then stuttered an "Okay honey. Thanks for telling me."
The next day I realized how odd that was for Erwin. He was the one who had been pushing me to take the job. He told me it would be a great experience and a resume booster. He knew we would make it work. So for him to come out of the blue and tell me that...I wasn't sure how to take it. And he didn't know how I should take it either. He didn't profess to have received revelation for me by any means. But that it just happened and I can do what I want with it.
So after much incisiveness, I declined the job. I must admit, I was sad. I sent a letter declining the job, and after I hit send, I shed a tear. I still am not sure if I made the right decision. I still have the "What if?" case going on. What if the raise would have been better than nothing? What if I could have made it work with my new supervisor? What if this really would have helped me in the future with jobs? Sigh... I haven't gotten an answer yet for that. But I am hoping the answer will come and that the Lord will take care of me for my decision and continue to provide for me and my family. There are no "what if's" with the Lord. I know he will always pull through for me,
So, here is to agency! Here is to trusting. Here is to prayer and patience in myself and the Lord. Here is to finding happiness, no matter where I work. Here is to my family whom I am working hard for. Here is to waiting...and then more trusting. And here is to those who love me and supported me through this little crisis. You know who you are. Thank you for the texts. The prayers on my behalf and for your love. I am grateful for it all, from everyone.Sigh... Life's lessons... They are sweet, aren't they? :)
That is how the phone call went. My heart dropped when Joey called. Joey is my bosses boss. And she wants me to meet with the even bigger boss, Erin. I couldn't imagine what the head director of Head Start wanted to do with me. She knew my name. I think. We had met before and I had many meetings with her. But a personal one? I started to sweat and feel extremely nervous.
I walked into the Erin's big office. She told me to have a seat and she, Joey and I all made pleasantries and chatted for a bit. They seemed in a good mood. So it couldn't be that bad, right? They finally told me they wanted to get to the point. "Finally." I though. I felt like I had been dying of curiosity.
"We want to offer you a job promotion. It's called the Volunteer Coordinator You know what that is Sarah, it's Katie's job. She is going off to get her PHD, and in order to replace her, we evaluated everyone in the company to take her place, and we are hand picking you."
"Huh? What? Promotion? Hand picked? You like me? Wahoo! What does this mean?" That is how is all went down in my head within the first 10 seconds after hearing what Erin had to say to me.
I felt flattered. I felt excited. I felt honored. I couldn't believe that they had noticed me and liked me. A little Family Advocate who never imagined herself progressing in this company.
They let me know that I had some time to think about it and let me then meet another woman, who would be my new supervisor.
That is where things changed. This woman let me know right off the bat she is a micro manager. She came across as slightly bossy and a little condescending, and I had heard some things about her that didn't please me.
I walked away feeling very conflicted. Do I want to work for her? I never would have applied for this job on my own. It didn't interest me very much. You don't get to work with families anymore and you are in charge of hundreds of volunteers and all the event planning. I'm not sure if I am even good at those things. Then I found out the raise was almost nothing, and I would have less flexibility and more working on weekends. Hmm... I had to think about it. And think I did.
Now, if you know me you will know two things: 1.I am my father's daughter. 2. Very rarely has the Lord ever truly answered a prayer of mine with an absolute yes, or no. Let me expand.
My dad is a natural with teaching. He likes business with head honcho people and enjoys working his way up the corporate ladder. He likes progression. I am the same way. I like working. I am not intimidated by CEO's or big board meetings. I want to work my way up and I want to meet those head honcho people. I don't mind being recognized or progression. I have no fear with public speaking and being outgoing. My dad is the same way. I used to walk streets of Philly and see all the women around me in their business suits and admire them. I liked women who were strong and confidant and hard working. I wondered if I could ever do that. But my dad also taught me, that no promotion was worth it if you were going to be unhappy. I was worried about that with this job offer...
Second thing- In most cases, with all the bigger decisions I have made in life, I have never really gotten a direct answer from the Lord of a yes or no. I have always that the blessing/trial to just use my agency and make a decision and WAY after have it be confirmed if it were right or not. I fasted for an answer. I prayed. I discussed it with my boss, my co-workers, my friends and with my husband and family. I got such a different mix of opinions. It almost made it even harder. "Ohh. Tough call." they most all said to me after explanation. Some wanted me to take it badly. Others, knew what I would be getting myself into, and advised me to be careful. At first I felt sick about it, and didn't want to take it. Then I got excited and ready to move on and try something new. I had been wanting a new job anyway. Was this the Lord's answer to a prayer? I just never really new. The back and forth was hard, and I knew the Lord was once again, letting me truly expand my agency.
Then something interesting happened. I was half asleep one night, and Erwin came in and asked me to listen to him briefly and try to open my eyes. He then said "Sweetie, I just wanted to let you know that I got an impression that you should respectfully decline the job offer. I'm not sure why. I wasn't even thinking about it. It just popped into my head." I then stuttered an "Okay honey. Thanks for telling me."
The next day I realized how odd that was for Erwin. He was the one who had been pushing me to take the job. He told me it would be a great experience and a resume booster. He knew we would make it work. So for him to come out of the blue and tell me that...I wasn't sure how to take it. And he didn't know how I should take it either. He didn't profess to have received revelation for me by any means. But that it just happened and I can do what I want with it.
So after much incisiveness, I declined the job. I must admit, I was sad. I sent a letter declining the job, and after I hit send, I shed a tear. I still am not sure if I made the right decision. I still have the "What if?" case going on. What if the raise would have been better than nothing? What if I could have made it work with my new supervisor? What if this really would have helped me in the future with jobs? Sigh... I haven't gotten an answer yet for that. But I am hoping the answer will come and that the Lord will take care of me for my decision and continue to provide for me and my family. There are no "what if's" with the Lord. I know he will always pull through for me,
So, here is to agency! Here is to trusting. Here is to prayer and patience in myself and the Lord. Here is to finding happiness, no matter where I work. Here is to my family whom I am working hard for. Here is to waiting...and then more trusting. And here is to those who love me and supported me through this little crisis. You know who you are. Thank you for the texts. The prayers on my behalf and for your love. I am grateful for it all, from everyone.Sigh... Life's lessons... They are sweet, aren't they? :)
Comments
Thanks for sharing your experiences. :)