My husband is my best friend and the first person I run to for everything. After I had cried on his should for a few minutes in the car, I freshened up and I went inside to my old house to visit my mom while Erwin went to go play basketball with his church buddies. Mom of course welcomed me in, seemed so excited to see me, then looked at me and asked if anything was wrong.
I lost it. My face scrunched up and my eyes stung with tears. Of course, my mom knew exactly what to do. She wrapped her arms around me, while I buried my head in her shoulder and sobbed. I am larger in stature than my mom, but her arms somehow fit perfectly around me, while her long, slender fingers stroked my hair.
At first, I almost felt embarrassed that I was a 28 yr old woman, getting her shirt wet with mascara stains. But then, I had felt such a peace and comfort, that I knew I needed and missed. I was being held by my mom, best friend, confidant and protector-even at my age.
I just sat there and cried. While she said to me: "There you go. Just cry and get it all out. It feels good- to just get it all out." She didn't hound me for answers or try to offer me solutions. She just let me sit there and be wrapped up in her love. Just what I needed. She gave me this love as a child, and it is still the same. I was grateful.
I am so worn. I am so exhausted.( All.the.time.) I feel unhappy in areas that I have been praying for strength, and overwhelmed with 50 million emotions... that I can't seem to balance myself out and sort out my feelings.
And when my plate started to wobble, and eventually tip...my mommy was there.
I love you mom. Thank you for being still to this day, my support, protector, friend and caretaker. Heavenly Father knew I needed you. :)
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