Erwin Addison Wright IV, was born August 1, 2013 at 10:15 p.m.
I remember listening intently for him to cry. I wanted to hear our sweet boy cry and know he had arrived. As I heard his screams, I started to shed more tears of joy. A nurse came to my side and showed me our son quickly, and then whisked him away. I felt so confused at first. There was a purple and brown-ish baby with hair and asian eyes. Nothing of me as of yet, and I was surprised by the genes that he pulled from Erwin's side of the family. I couldn't help but smile, and wished more than anything I didn't have to sit on that table cut open, waiting to be sewed up. That meant I had to wait to hold and see my son! I looked up at Erwin with tears, and asked him to go hurry and be with the baby and never leave his side. He kissed me and left, and I was happy knowing he got to be there next to our new son.
The doctors finally sewed me up, and got me back on my hospital bed. (it was actually kinda scary and frustrating the whole process of moving me from bed to bed. grrr) It all seemed like a blur as they wheeled me back to my delivery room. The put our freshly cleaned up and wrapped baby on my chest and it all felt so surreal. I was so happy to see my mom and dad there waiting for me (we didn't get back until well after 11-11:30 p.m.) They stayed and watched baby get tested for a variety of things and get poked and prodded and examined. They then each held him, talked to me about my experience and rejoiced with Erwin and me with our new addition. We all fell in love instantly, and his calm and sweet demeanor was so apparent right away. I was exhausted and the pain from the c-section started to kick in. I asked my ever so grumpy night nurse, to give me all and any pain medications right away.
Mom and dad left and then Erwin and I were taken to the recovery room on the 2nd floor. Again, our awful night nurse was making Erwin do all the work (just ask us and we'll tell you the stories) and we finally made it to our room. Some new nurses came in and asked if we wanted to give baby a bath and really clean him up. Erwin and I agreed, and again, I asked Erwin to go be with the baby. He left and they didn't come back for over an hour. I had gotten nervous and upset and wanted to know what was taking so long! Apparently, it takes quite a while to clean up babies and do everything right and well. Poor Erwin. He came back to the room with our son around 2:00 a.m. We had been up almost a full 24 hours, and he was exhausted. As we settled down, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me he felt so wasted and drained. He was overwhelmed with emotion and couldn't handle much more. I started to cry, thanked him for his support and love for me throughout the entire day, and for staying by our sons side. He then fell right asleep, and I felt so grateful for my sweet eternal companion, who truly is my better half.
As I look down at my son, I still can't believe how my life as changed. Almost 6 weeks ago, my incredibly perfect and sweet son was born. He is a baby of calmness, patience and sweet love. He has olive skin, black hair, hazel gray eyes that are Asian shaped. I see nothing of me in him, except for a few traits that come from my side of the family. Like his double chin. His huge cheeks, or a few of his dimples. I am so in love. I can't imagine life without him, and he has made me the happiest mommy on earth. Every single day I say a prayer of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for being by my side every single step of the way, and for the gift of life. We are truly blessed. :)
Here is the long, but wonderful story of baby's birth story. :)
At my last Dr appt, they had let me know that if baby didn't come by himself within a week, they would induce me on August 6th. I felt disappointed to have to possibly wait another week to have the baby; I was so done with being pregnant. Then my Dr happened to mention that if I also wanted, I could induce on Thursday the 1st or on Saturday the 3rd. She would be working delivery those two days, and I could choose to check in, if I wanted. Even though Erwin and I talked about it, we didn't come to a conclusion, and I couldn't tell what felt right. But while Erwin was gone at some function, something came over me. I called on Wednesday, July 31st, to see if I could be induced the next day. The nurses let me know that my Dr was out for the day, and so she couldn't approve me for next day delivery on such short notice. I was so sad, that I cried and cried. When Erwin came home, I told him I had called and the news that we would have to wait. In the middle of my tears, my phone rang. I don't usually answer unidentified numbers, but this time I did. It was a nurse, telling me that I had been approved to be induced the next day, IF the hospital had time for me to check in before noon. I was so excited and shared the news with Erwin. We both didn't want to get our hopes up, but we double checked our hospital bags and went to bed early that night-knowing that our lives could possible be very different the next day.
I called the hospital at 6:00 a.m. I anxiously waited to hear if they had a slot open for me to come in. They did! At 7:15 a.m. I couldn't believe it. A rush came over me, and Erwin and I showered and headed for the hospital feeling very excited, but more nervous than ever. We made a few calls and sent out some text messages that we were checking in to the hospital to have a baby! Now, that night, I had a horrible time sleeping. I was having contractions that were stronger than ever, and I kept focusing on how the pain felt and how far apart they were. Turns out, I was having consistent contractions about 4-6 minutes apart, and the baby was trying to start his big debut anyway. :)
Erwin and I showed up to the hospital, and we checked in. As I sat there in the hospital bed with my gown on, I couldn't believe it was happening. It was the start of a very long day, that was full of emotions and physical pain.
I remember my delivery nurse very well. She walked into my room and my first reaction was a little judgmental. She was skinny, very pretty and had amazing hair. I wondered how early she got up to do it and get it looking just right. She seemed a little ditzy at first, and after she stabbed my hand twice looking for a vain, my confidence in her lessened. Finally, another nurse came in a found a vain in my wrist. It hurt so bad, and it seemed like such an inconvenient spot to have it, since I bent my wrist all the time. Anyway, turns out that my day nurse Melanie, was an amazing person to have by my side. She always asked me how I was doing, what she could do to serve me and my family and literally held my hand through so much of my time in labor. We ended up truly loving her.
I wanted to see how long I could last without an epidural. I truly wanted to have this baby naturally, not only for me, but because everybody raved about how great it was. Oddly enough, I also felt like I would be judged by so many people in my life, if I ended up having to be doped up. So I started off with strong desires and true dedication to working my way through the pain.
I labored for 15 hours. Hoping and waiting that he would come on his own. During those 15 hours, I walked around, bounced on an exercise ball and had my water broken. I tried and tried for as long as I could, to endure the pain of contractions and make it to a natural birth. But a few thousand tears later and little progress with baby, I asked for an epidural. The shot itself was uncomfortable. And the way I felt after was unpleasant. Everything was numb, but I could still tell if someone touched me, and it almost hurt. My mom could see my desperation. My pain and my exhaustion. She suggested I get a blessing, and I started to cry. I knew that is what I needed. My dad and Erwin gave me a blessing and I felt some added strength come to me.
Throughout my time there, nurses had me sit certain ways, try different techniques and check me a billion times to see if baby had turned and wiggled his way down. But he was still face up, and I was dilating very very slowly. This was causing concern for everyone. I could see it in their eyes. I could tell that my Dr was not happy about his heartbeat and the stress he was feeling with contractions. I started to feel nervous and was hoping that somehow, this baby would come soon. I prayed to my Father that he would help me make it through and endure to get this baby out.
My Dr came to me around 9:00 at night. She had a look in her eyes, and it confirmed to me what she was about to say. I wasn't progressing normally. Something wasn't right for me to be going at such a slow rate, and the baby was not happy with the harsh contractions. Then she said it. The dreaded procedure. C-Section. As she explained why she thought it would be best, my heart dropped. I felt devastated. All that work...all day...and it came down to this. I didn't want to be cut open. I was scared. I wanted the vaginal birth. I wanted Erwin to cut the cord. I wanted the perfect experience. But I lost those hopes. And I was sad.
But oddly enough, I felt peace in my heart. It was so strange to feel scared and sadness along with peace. But somehow I knew that having a c-section was right, and I consented. Erwin admitted later that he was so scared that he went to the bathroom and got emotional. We both were tired and hadn't planned on surgery. But he was right there, by my side as always. I got a double dosage of meds to numb me up, and it did a toll on me. My arms even went numb, and I strangely felt like my throat was closing off and I couldn't breathe. I had to focus on taking deep breathes as they prepped me. I left my mom and dad and they wheeled me away to a different part of the hospital. The room was bright white. It was cold. It was unfriendly. Music. I heard music. First it was James Taylor. I love him. I went back to focusing on my breathing and then got scared and started shaking badly. Then I heard music again. It was a song that I heard all the time on the radio. A song that I had just read about in an article a few days earlier explaining that the message was actually about God, and not about a guy. It was about Him being by your side and finding Him always next to you, no matter what. I started to weep. My heart was overwhelmed with a confirmation of a tender mercy. It was no coincidence that song was playing. He was there next to me. He wasn't going anywhere. I was going to be okay. And He loved me. I once again, felt peace.
Erwin showed up in his scrubs. It was a relief to see him. He held my hand and let me know what was going on with all the preparations. He was my rock, and I knew I could be okay with him there. I told him not to stand up and watch anything. I was worried he would faint. He did stand up though, and he did see quite a bit. I heard the Dr exclaim that baby's little hand shot straight out at her. He was happy to meet her apparently. And he was still face up. She explained to me that she could tell that his arm was up by his face, and lodged there. There was the explanation of way baby wasn't dropping and coming on his own. His arm was in the way and was not allowing him to come. I felt confirmed again, that a c-section was the right thing to do.
I remember listening intently for him to cry. I wanted to hear our sweet boy cry and know he had arrived. As I heard his screams, I started to shed more tears of joy. A nurse came to my side and showed me our son quickly, and then whisked him away. I felt so confused at first. There was a purple and brown-ish baby with hair and asian eyes. Nothing of me as of yet, and I was surprised by the genes that he pulled from Erwin's side of the family. I couldn't help but smile, and wished more than anything I didn't have to sit on that table cut open, waiting to be sewed up. That meant I had to wait to hold and see my son! I looked up at Erwin with tears, and asked him to go hurry and be with the baby and never leave his side. He kissed me and left, and I was happy knowing he got to be there next to our new son.
The doctors finally sewed me up, and got me back on my hospital bed. (it was actually kinda scary and frustrating the whole process of moving me from bed to bed. grrr) It all seemed like a blur as they wheeled me back to my delivery room. The put our freshly cleaned up and wrapped baby on my chest and it all felt so surreal. I was so happy to see my mom and dad there waiting for me (we didn't get back until well after 11-11:30 p.m.) They stayed and watched baby get tested for a variety of things and get poked and prodded and examined. They then each held him, talked to me about my experience and rejoiced with Erwin and me with our new addition. We all fell in love instantly, and his calm and sweet demeanor was so apparent right away. I was exhausted and the pain from the c-section started to kick in. I asked my ever so grumpy night nurse, to give me all and any pain medications right away.
Mom and dad left and then Erwin and I were taken to the recovery room on the 2nd floor. Again, our awful night nurse was making Erwin do all the work (just ask us and we'll tell you the stories) and we finally made it to our room. Some new nurses came in and asked if we wanted to give baby a bath and really clean him up. Erwin and I agreed, and again, I asked Erwin to go be with the baby. He left and they didn't come back for over an hour. I had gotten nervous and upset and wanted to know what was taking so long! Apparently, it takes quite a while to clean up babies and do everything right and well. Poor Erwin. He came back to the room with our son around 2:00 a.m. We had been up almost a full 24 hours, and he was exhausted. As we settled down, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me he felt so wasted and drained. He was overwhelmed with emotion and couldn't handle much more. I started to cry, thanked him for his support and love for me throughout the entire day, and for staying by our sons side. He then fell right asleep, and I felt so grateful for my sweet eternal companion, who truly is my better half.
As I look down at my son, I still can't believe how my life as changed. Almost 6 weeks ago, my incredibly perfect and sweet son was born. He is a baby of calmness, patience and sweet love. He has olive skin, black hair, hazel gray eyes that are Asian shaped. I see nothing of me in him, except for a few traits that come from my side of the family. Like his double chin. His huge cheeks, or a few of his dimples. I am so in love. I can't imagine life without him, and he has made me the happiest mommy on earth. Every single day I say a prayer of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for being by my side every single step of the way, and for the gift of life. We are truly blessed. :)
Comments