Mother in Zion

I grew up being taught that working is good and necessary for me to get things I needed and wanted in this life. (Ex: car, clothes, trips, college, apartment. etc.) I was taught to work hard and to enjoy it. I almost always had a job that I enjoyed and that taught me valuable lessons and skills. I worked in High School, I worked in college, before and after my mission and also while being married. And I loved it. I loved working, mainly because I loved what I did for work. Being a Social Worker and working with needy families, veterans, foster kids, refugees etc, was my calling. It is my passion and I find no greater stress and no greater joy than working in the social services field. I always meet unique people who fill my heart. So by doing what I loved, always resulted in me loving to work. 

When I found out I was pregnant, I wondered if I would quit my job and in which stages of my children's life I would be a stay at home mom. Erwin wasn't working at the time, and to be perfectly honest, he has never liked working as much as me. He would joke about being the stay at home dad and having me be the career parent, and part of me wondered if that would really be the case. Now, understand, that I grew up being taught that being a mom is the best and most prized job out there and being in the home with my children would be an amazing reward. I knew that, and I knew I wanted that. But I also knew that Heavenly Father had called me to serve His other children as well and to use my skills to help them and love them. Could I possibly do both?

The day came for me to go on maternity leave, and I had given an impression to my employer I was coming back. I gave lingering hope to the the families I worked with that I would be their Social worker again and I didn't give any official goodbye. Part of this was because I couldn't see myself not going back. Another part was that my family was only insured through me, and if I left we would be without medical insurance.

But as I walked out those doors in late July, I knew in my heart I wouldn't be going back. I knew the time would come when I would pray and Heavenly Father would confirm to me that I made the right decision and that no matter what, He would take care of my family and that He would take care of me.

One day after Wa'akea was born, I was reading an older Conference talk, and a paragraph really stood out to me and touched my heart. 

                                                  President David O. McKay put it beautifully when he said, speaking of mothers, “This ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world. She who can paint a masterpiece or write a book that will influence millions deserves the admiration and the plaudits of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come, whose immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings shall have faded, and books and statues shall have decayed or shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God. In her high duty and service to humanity, endowing with immortality eternal spirits, she is co-partner with the Creator himself.” 

I found myself in tears as I read this. And this I know: Social work is a noble job. It is a good and honorable field. But I knew from reading those words, my desires to stay home and be a full time mom were confirmed. Being a mother was my new and noble job. It was my calling to raise a worthy and beautiful son and be a mother in Zion I wanted no one else to do it but me. Right then and there, I called my employer and let her know I officially would not be returning to work.

I used to think that quitting my job would be so hard, because I loved it so much. But you know, it wasn't hard for me at all. Saying goodbye to working full time and with people I cared about, was actually easy for me. It was sad, but it was not hard. Holding my baby boy in my arms always was the confirmation that being a full time mommy was and is the right choice. We may be much more poor now, uninsured and stressed. But I have never been happier than to serve and be doing the full time job that I was meant to do....being a mother.

Going back to my question can I do both? Be a mommy and serve the needy? Of course! There are plenty of places that I can volunteer and show the Lord I want to exercise charity and serve His other children. But I have never been more sure that my first job and desire and priority, are all in the walls of my own home, raising my son and being his mommy. 

The crying, the spit up, the stinky diapers....the smiles, the giggles, the milestones and the pure and eternal joy. Oh... how I love my new, full time job. :)