I miss my family. Today I sat at my kitchen table and cried while Wa'a luckily played contently in the living room. It always hurts my heart to not have a huge, close family. I usually know how to be strong and happy despite it. But today it got me a little more in the tender area.
It is a beautiful thing to have a family like that. I don't think many really know how much I envy it, and how hard it is for me to see sometimes, because I don't have that with my own family and my kids will never see my own family often either.
I come from a small family of 5. One sister and one brother. My mom works full time and in all reality I don't see her that often. My dad is all over the place too. My brother and his fiancee kind of have their own little life they stick to. I never see them. Like......never. My sister is the wife of a military man. They will never live close to us, since they bounce all over the US every 3 years.
I yearn to have my own family around more. I want that sense of closeness--that whenever I walk through the door my heart feels the peace and love from people who know you. Truly know you. Where I never have to explain my behavior or thoughts, because they grew up with me and know how I am. Where I can be myself 100 percent of the time and know that no matter what happens, we will love each other the next day. A place where we have old stories to tell, inside jokes and things that make us laugh about one another. A place where we can relate to one another and be as loving or sarcastic and loud as we want. A place where you are never left out because you don't fit in. A place where you feel....at home.
I just miss them.
It is a beautiful thing to have a family like that. I don't think many really know how much I envy it, and how hard it is for me to see sometimes, because I don't have that with my own family and my kids will never see my own family often either.
I come from a small family of 5. One sister and one brother. My mom works full time and in all reality I don't see her that often. My dad is all over the place too. My brother and his fiancee kind of have their own little life they stick to. I never see them. Like......never. My sister is the wife of a military man. They will never live close to us, since they bounce all over the US every 3 years.
I yearn to have my own family around more. I want that sense of closeness--that whenever I walk through the door my heart feels the peace and love from people who know you. Truly know you. Where I never have to explain my behavior or thoughts, because they grew up with me and know how I am. Where I can be myself 100 percent of the time and know that no matter what happens, we will love each other the next day. A place where we have old stories to tell, inside jokes and things that make us laugh about one another. A place where we can relate to one another and be as loving or sarcastic and loud as we want. A place where you are never left out because you don't fit in. A place where you feel....at home.
I just miss them.
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